Current state of things

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I made it back from my sister's house with my sanity in tact (no small feat). I am more than gently reminded why my sister and I get along better with several states between us :o) We did manage to get up to DC and have a nice dinner and walk around the Mall.

I started my new job at The Phone Company the day after I flew back from Virginia. It was actually really easy to get up and out on time seeings how I had become acclimated to waking up 6:30 Est. I love my new job. I know I'm still in training and it will be different once I get out on the floor. But I love working with people and feeling like I can choose where I want to go in the Company.

As I walked to my car the other day I stopped in mid sentence to my carpool buddy. we were talking about some theory or another and I stopped dead in my tracks for a moment. I had a brief moment (no longer than a few heart beats) where something was amazingly clear to me. I felt like someone who after a long sickness understands how grateful they are to be whole again. I realized that for the first time in 5 1/2 years I felt like the person that I truly was/am. The me that almost suffocated under the daily mind *bleep* and crap at The Insurance Company. The un-jaded, optimistic me that could hold a whole conversation without once mentioning my problems or work. I felt free!

"You going to open the door for me or what?" Michael shook me from my moment of clarity.
"I don't open the door for special people named Michael." I stuck my tongue out at him and hit the button on my remote. I've always been a smart alec.

Anyway, I feel amazingly good right now. I do miss Dendy in the quiet moments but hey, I'm entitled to a few moments of break up blues. And I'm still trying to get my second diploma out of The School From Hell (I certainly earned it). But MY life is finally here and accounted for and ready to be enjoyed. I no longer live to work. I work to LIVE :o) and it feels so Refreshing!

Living like me again,

~Z~

Done.

Well, it's done! I've left The Company for good. No turning back. It was incredibly happy and sad all day long. I laughed and I cried and I was pleasantly surprised when they sent me out with a little fanfare. I will be forever grateful for the people I met at work and through work. They really helped me become who I am. I know, I know, it's just a job. It is and it isn't. I spent 8 hours of my life there 5 days a week. I saw them more than I saw my family and my friends So to make it better they became my family and friends. You cannot possibly spend that much time with the same people and not come away unchanged. Anyway, I'm headed to the airport now to go see some more of my family :o) I get to see my beautiful nieces and nephews, my Awesome big sister and her cool husband and my best friend and her beautiful little girls and husband. My cup truly runneth over.... Ciao for now! I'll be back with LOTS of pictures (how could i not? It's the East Coast in the fall!).

Cheerily Content,

~Z~

Change is coming...

I haven't been sleeping very well so I thought I would blog. So much has changed in the last week. I've turned 27 (yay me), I'm single again, and I'm starting a new job in the weeks to come. If you'd asked me when I was 10 where I thought I would be at 27, aside from saying "old", I probably would have said something about wanting to be a Dolphin training journalist doctor married with 2 kids and a dog. Okay so i was a bit over zealous in my dreaming but who could decide when there were so many cool things I could be! But hey, that's what life is, a process of elimination of the things we don't like and some of the things we do. Eventually you end up with some of your dreams still intact but slightly rearranged :o) I didn't go to medical school (the blood made me queasy). I did take a break from college but I learned the value of education and went back to get my AA and AAS and someday I'll get my BA. I realized that I can't sing that well...trust me on this one... and I'm not a piano virtuoso... definitely not. I did realize that I love people and being part of their lives. I love cameras and writing stories and laughing with my friends until my cheeks hurt. I've learned that there are good men out there but that things don't always work out even with the good ones. I've lived life so far and learned what I can. I'd like to think that I'm on the right track, wherever that track might lead. And these changes that are happening right now are okay. It's scary as hell and a little on the painful side but it just means that it'll be so much more worth it later on. I feel better getting a few things out of my head and onto virtual paper. I'm sure there will be another post tomorrow if there is time before my red eye to Virginia. Ciao for now.

~Z~

P.S. this is what i was listening to while I was blogging.

P.P.S. Thank you to my friends who threw me a wonderful impromptu birthday party that helped ease some of the changes in my life. Thanks B for saving me from my pity party of one and sorry about the snot shirt:oD Love ya!