Just for Heather Hu??

Okay Heather! Here you go! a link to your sisters wedding photos! i know you have a hard time navigating my photo page so let me know if you can't figure it out!

Love you! hehe

~Z~

Song of the day...

My Canadian ex boyfriend e-mailed me this song the other day and I rather like it. It makes me want to jump around and have a little fun :o) Plus it adds to the way I've been feeling lately. I'm feeling good about life, a little lonely in the quiet moments, but nothing too terrible or depressing. I'll hopefully be starting school again soon (paid for by The Phone Company)and working towards getting my bachelor. I've got a great job and I'm starting to be able to pay down my debt. Life is pretty good. That's all for now. Gotta get some sleep. I'll blog again tomorrow about my weekend. So go have some fun and Jump around a little! Ciao!

~Z~

Current state of things

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I made it back from my sister's house with my sanity in tact (no small feat). I am more than gently reminded why my sister and I get along better with several states between us :o) We did manage to get up to DC and have a nice dinner and walk around the Mall.

I started my new job at The Phone Company the day after I flew back from Virginia. It was actually really easy to get up and out on time seeings how I had become acclimated to waking up 6:30 Est. I love my new job. I know I'm still in training and it will be different once I get out on the floor. But I love working with people and feeling like I can choose where I want to go in the Company.

As I walked to my car the other day I stopped in mid sentence to my carpool buddy. we were talking about some theory or another and I stopped dead in my tracks for a moment. I had a brief moment (no longer than a few heart beats) where something was amazingly clear to me. I felt like someone who after a long sickness understands how grateful they are to be whole again. I realized that for the first time in 5 1/2 years I felt like the person that I truly was/am. The me that almost suffocated under the daily mind *bleep* and crap at The Insurance Company. The un-jaded, optimistic me that could hold a whole conversation without once mentioning my problems or work. I felt free!

"You going to open the door for me or what?" Michael shook me from my moment of clarity.
"I don't open the door for special people named Michael." I stuck my tongue out at him and hit the button on my remote. I've always been a smart alec.

Anyway, I feel amazingly good right now. I do miss Dendy in the quiet moments but hey, I'm entitled to a few moments of break up blues. And I'm still trying to get my second diploma out of The School From Hell (I certainly earned it). But MY life is finally here and accounted for and ready to be enjoyed. I no longer live to work. I work to LIVE :o) and it feels so Refreshing!

Living like me again,

~Z~

Done.

Well, it's done! I've left The Company for good. No turning back. It was incredibly happy and sad all day long. I laughed and I cried and I was pleasantly surprised when they sent me out with a little fanfare. I will be forever grateful for the people I met at work and through work. They really helped me become who I am. I know, I know, it's just a job. It is and it isn't. I spent 8 hours of my life there 5 days a week. I saw them more than I saw my family and my friends So to make it better they became my family and friends. You cannot possibly spend that much time with the same people and not come away unchanged. Anyway, I'm headed to the airport now to go see some more of my family :o) I get to see my beautiful nieces and nephews, my Awesome big sister and her cool husband and my best friend and her beautiful little girls and husband. My cup truly runneth over.... Ciao for now! I'll be back with LOTS of pictures (how could i not? It's the East Coast in the fall!).

Cheerily Content,

~Z~

Change is coming...

I haven't been sleeping very well so I thought I would blog. So much has changed in the last week. I've turned 27 (yay me), I'm single again, and I'm starting a new job in the weeks to come. If you'd asked me when I was 10 where I thought I would be at 27, aside from saying "old", I probably would have said something about wanting to be a Dolphin training journalist doctor married with 2 kids and a dog. Okay so i was a bit over zealous in my dreaming but who could decide when there were so many cool things I could be! But hey, that's what life is, a process of elimination of the things we don't like and some of the things we do. Eventually you end up with some of your dreams still intact but slightly rearranged :o) I didn't go to medical school (the blood made me queasy). I did take a break from college but I learned the value of education and went back to get my AA and AAS and someday I'll get my BA. I realized that I can't sing that well...trust me on this one... and I'm not a piano virtuoso... definitely not. I did realize that I love people and being part of their lives. I love cameras and writing stories and laughing with my friends until my cheeks hurt. I've learned that there are good men out there but that things don't always work out even with the good ones. I've lived life so far and learned what I can. I'd like to think that I'm on the right track, wherever that track might lead. And these changes that are happening right now are okay. It's scary as hell and a little on the painful side but it just means that it'll be so much more worth it later on. I feel better getting a few things out of my head and onto virtual paper. I'm sure there will be another post tomorrow if there is time before my red eye to Virginia. Ciao for now.

~Z~

P.S. this is what i was listening to while I was blogging.

P.P.S. Thank you to my friends who threw me a wonderful impromptu birthday party that helped ease some of the changes in my life. Thanks B for saving me from my pity party of one and sorry about the snot shirt:oD Love ya!

Final Halloween

It was my final Halloween at The Agency. It really brought up some odd emotions. It's bitter sweet; exciting and thrilling but at the same time it makes me sad to know that I've spent 5 1/2 years in this place. Sometimes I'm angry that I gave them so much to be terminated when they were done with me. Sometimes it makes me feel good to know i spent 5 1/2 years listening to the people who have become my friends, laughed with them and enjoyed the good times and the bad and even crying over the stress and the heartache that is The Agency.
It's amazing to me how much I've changed in that time. I always knew they would have to give me the boot to get me to leave no matter what I was put through. I've been through a fiance, 2 boyfriends, the death of 4 loved ones. Looking back on it, I cannot believe I've lost and gained so much in 5 years. I've been here during so many important times in my life. It will be odd not to have it be part of me, to not come to work excited or needing to talk to my friends. Some of my friends at the Agency will be my friends for the rest of my life. Some I may never see again. But for 5 years it was my life. It was life lived. A lot of strong bonds and good came with a lot of bad.
It's not quite time to say goodbye just yet. 2 more weeks. That's all that's left. I think I will enjoy the time I have and consider myself lucky that I get to go to work for the next two weeks with some of my dearest friends.

Besides... Who could be sad after spending a day surrounded by such sweet faces :o)

Happy Halloween Everyone
~Z~

Field of Weeds

Originally posted by Sorriso Bella Sometimes something unwanted can be beautiful. This photo came out like a dream. I can feel the breeze on my face, smell the sweet summer grasses and can hear the buzz of the bugs. Ah Summer is almost here!

a dream...

Blue lake

Originally uploaded by
dazstudios

I used to like to lie on the grass as a child on a warm spring day and watch the puffy clouds. Sometimes I would fall asleep with the warmth of the sun on my face and have dreams of the cloud ship pirates sailing across the sea of blue and white have adventures untold. Once, i woke up to an darkly overcast sky and a strong wind. I was disoriented and a little frightened until I realized that even though the world is a bit darker than it was when I fell asleep it was still the same world with my family and friends and stuffed animals. This picture reminds me of that day and that even though the world can suddenly seem darker, that the things that I love still exist.

~z~

Sous la pluie et par temps gris

Sous la pluie et par temps gris, Château de Chamarande, Chamarande, France 2008
Originally uploaded by Baloulumix

*Under the rain and in gray weather, Castle of Chamarande, Chamarande, France 2008*

when i first saw this photo on black it jumped out at me. The touch of yellow moss on formerly golden locks, the light shades of the dirt on the stone hinting at the blush of a cheek, adds to the effect of this photo. The stone face of a sad, almost pouting child. Color makes it seem as if it once was a living child that has faded as time fades, becoming slowly a petrified marker of life and its beauty. It is hypnotizing to me with its far away look of sadness and perhaps longing. beautiful photo.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.